What Am I Doing?

I'm killing myself.  Now, I'm not contemplating suicide and I'm not planning a suicide attempt.  But I am slowly killing myself.

I am an over weight, diabetic, heart patient who also has thyroid problems.  But what do I do daily? Nothing but eat and sit on my fat ass!  Well, I get up and go to the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, etc.  But I don't eat right and I don't exercise and I'm slowly killing myself!

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow.  I think I'm depressed and I know I need to talk to her about this.  I'm too young to be doing this to myself.  I don't want to be this way but I am,  Can I make a change?  Can I start a new journey?  I'm just not sure.

Oh My...

It has been so very long since I've posted.  Life gets in the way, yet life is what I'm writing about.

Sean has really grown this summer.  He has learned to swim, really swim, and he enjoys going to the water park.  I enjoy taking him too.

Having fun with Mom throwing him.

Yes, he loves it.

Our second favorite place this summer is Strawberry Hill.  We all love to go and enjoy the fresh, home made ice cream!

My two boys!

Fresh watermelon - grown there at Strawberry Hill.

A wonderful smile on a pretty day.

I love spending time with them and know that every day is a gift from God.

5-5-12 Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo - the 5th of May.  That day holds special memories for me and I always celebrate the day, even if it's a quiet celebration.

Seven years ago, on May 5, 2005, I found out I was pregnant with my boy.  What a day that was!  I didn't know whether to be happy or sad!  I was 40 years old and not married to the baby's father.  I knew that I could raise him on my own and I would provide him with enough love that he would not miss his father.  Happily, his father did want him and there was never any question as to what would happen.  We moved in together and have been a loving, happy family ever since! Little did I know how my life would change or how I would welcome and embrace that change!  To me, my life is perfect and I've never been happier!

I photographed a wedding today and my son attended the wedding.  Naturally I took some of him.  He is so handsome!

Isn't he handsome!

He's a natural at being dressed up!

Anger...

Anger.  A very strong emotion that can make you or break you.  I'm very angry today and I really don't know why.  There is nothing wrong with my day and no one has done anything to make me angry so why am I so mad?

Let me make some lunch and I will explore this...

It's All So Basic...

If you really think about it, it's all basic.  To save money - you just don't spend, to quit smoking - you just don't light up, to lose weight - you just - hmmm, that's where it get complicated.  Or so it seems.

To lose weight you must use more calories than you consume, right?  Right.  So, for me to lose weight I have to eat less and exercise more.  But how do I do that?  How can I get happy with myself?  By making one change a day.

Today I walked on the treadmill for about 20 minutes and then danced for 25 minutes.  That was fun.  But, on a daily basis, do I have time to do that EVERY DAY?  I don't have a choice.  Well, I do but you know what I mean.

So, for getting back to the basics of this...yesterday at the daycare I put in a DVD for the little ones to watch.  As I watched and sang along I realized that it really is basic!  I can do "Elmocize" with the kids and get at least 30 minutes of exercise at the daycare and then do the dance and treadmill at night when I'm at home.

Hooray for Elmocize!!!

So, I think this is going to be cute and fun and maybe, just maybe, I can lose the 55 pounds that I need to lose.

Happy Easter!

Today is Easter Sunday.  What a beautiful day it is! The sun is shinning and it's about 76 degrees...perfect weather for an egg hunt.  Except for one thing - my little man has strep throat again!  He's not much up to an egg hunt.  But he did dye the eggs!

He was upset about the cracked on but I told him, "Son, there's a cracked one in every family!"

He did want to go out and hunt some but he got tired quickly...

Gator and Millie found an egg too!

When he got tired of hunting eggs he wanted to blow bubbles.

I love my little sunshine!

Dinner will be ready soon and we will enjoy dinner as a family.  I know that my life is far from perfect but, to me, it IS perfect!

He's Growing Up!

Sean lost his first tooth!!!!

He was so proud! Mom was also very proud and then sad as well.  My little boy is officially no longer a baby!  When that first baby tooth comes out, he's a big boy.  That happened today, March 31, 2012.

And then....

That's right! Tooth number two came out!  About two hours after the first tooth was pulled he said, "Mom, I think this one is ready too but I'm scared!"  We pulled it!  So he lost his first two baby teeth on the same day!

The tooth fairy came and left a cut little note.  It said,

"Sean,

While you lay sleeping, I came in the night.

Under your pillow was a marvelous sight.

Your first two teeth had some unstuck.

Keep them forever, they will bring you good luck!

Love,

The Tooth Fairy

3-31-12"

I'm so happy for him and I'm so happy to be here to celebrate this day with him!